Weak

Today, I am weak.

My eyes are tired, I don’t want to do any more work, and I’m hungry.

I’m going to eat the cake (I made one yesterday. I’m not going to eat the entire cake … just a piece), but I will have to convince myself not to feel poorly about doing so. And that’s not a thing about body image or weight or any of those other things that might come to mind by such a statement. Here’s the thing: our church leader called for a seven-day fast from social media, television, and from day meals to re-calibrate ourselves. I have nothing against doing any of that. As those who know me already are aware, I’ve walked away from social media for longer than seven days; the call to not be up in social media and to not watch tv was specific.

Faith-filled folks get caught up in the chicanery as well.

The taking a stand about the recent election and other things has blown up all over our screens. For people really into following all that, it can get messy.

That shiny halo gets crooked and tarnished, fast.

So for those who’ve been shouting through their fingers or have become media junkies, stuck to the chair and salivating over their chosen news station, this was a call to quit it and get back to the matters at hand.

I’m weak.

I can’t stop thinking about food and feel like I’m that person Matthew was describing (Matthew 6:16) — I feel grumpy, I want to eat, and so have missed the point there.

But have I, really? Or is it an Eyeore moment, where I’m just cranky in general? I mean, I am fasting two meals a day (the idea here as presented was to fast during the day and eat dinner; will God be angry with me for eating lunch instead?), I’m off social media, I’m not watching tv. so in the end, the world won’t stop spinning because of me, right?

Right?

So I’m going to eat the cake. I’ll eat a sandwich later. And it will be okay.

I know it will.

It will be okay because I am in my fuzzy robe (which I take off during video conference calls so my t-shirt is visible and I don’t look like I just rolled out of bed) and because I got this postcard today from Ra Avis.

Postcards, letters, and items that aren’t bill-related always make things okay.

But to get such a thing, from someone I value, makes it even better.

Made more so because I got to read it in my fuzzy robe.

Yeah, it’s a thing.

I might be weak today, but I know I am loved (Ra said so on the postcard).

And that always makes it better, doesn’t it.