Honest Words


Me, honestly.

Today — every day — I\’m grateful for what I\’ve had because tomorrows are never promised.

If you are online tomorrow, instead of posting something on my social media, go out and care for your elderly neighbor; have lunch with a friend; be nice to the person at your grocery check-out line; volunteer at your local shelter for people dealing with homelessness.

Again, I do appreciate well-wishes, but let me keep it real.

If the only reason to reach out is because the thing in the sidebar reminds you it\’s my birthday, if that day is the only day you think of me, if you never read my (now infrequent) posts, if we have no other connection, are we connected? And if not, it\’s okay, really! Life\’s too short for platitudes.

If this post feels insensitive, it\’s not. These are honest words.

We\’ve come to a societal space where connections are superficial and friendship is defined by the number of hearts or ‘likes’ we give one another. We don’t reach out, or if we do, it’s because we need something. Or feel guilty because we haven’t reached out in X number of months. Or because the sidebar thing pings and alerts us that we should at least offer a ‘HBD’ (really … we can’t even spell words out anymore … ugh!).

I don’t want that.

If you are someone who knows me, I mean really knows me — like we’ve spent time in the same room and not online, or we’ve had a walk together, or we’ve worked together, or taken a meal together, or laughed or cried together in a real space and not online — please don’t do one of those HBD posts. Don’t send me a private message, just to let me know you remembered. Please. Just. Don’t.

Instead, lift up a prayer for me: say ‘thank you’ to the Creator that I’ve made it one more year. Pray that I make it another. And you don’t have to post to me to tell me you did it, because then we’re right back at the start of this post. It will tell me you don’t know me, that we aren’t connected in more than a superficial way.

Thank you. I love you, really. Honestly.

And because I don’t want to be one of those reminded-by-the-ping things, I likely won’t post a platitude on your birthday either.

If I have your postal address, you might get a card in the mail instead.

If you don’t, that doesn’t mean I don’t care; it likely means one of two things:

  1. I’m forgetful, which is highly likely.

  2. We aren’t really close enough that I know your birthday.

But that’s life, right? If we’re honest, we can admit that and it will still be okay.

Peace. Today and always.

8 Comments on “Honest Words

  1. Wow Andree, it looks like we have more in common than just a birth month. I totally agree w your blog. Though I must admit, I often text because it feels like that is what I am supposed to do. People dont pick up the phone anymore. I do want to remind you you are loved!! You have been such a blessing to me (more than you could ever guess)!! I pray you have a great day. I am going to be home in bed, since I have the crazy flu. I want yo take you to the Mission in for Lunch sometime soon. ❤

    1. Aw, thanks so much, sis! Text is a bit different to me than social media. As you know from our texting sessions, we both tend to write sentences, rather than abbreviations LOL! We have full conversations too, rather than three-letter messages. I tend to not talk on the phone much so it works for sure. And when we are together, we have meaningful conversations <3

  2. You always drop truth and inspiration. I’m like you, I forget birthdays but am grateful for reminders. I truly pray it is God’s will you are here to continue inspiring and moving us to reflect on our walk. Live you, Sis!

  3. Heyy love,Well you know, I know ya. I’m thankful everyday that you’re a part of my life. The fact that you don’t sugar coat anything says a lot about you. You keep it real. I appreciate realness. Thank you for being you and for always keeping it one hundred with me. You’re an awesome sister/friend. I thank God for you. It’s not everyday you find true, caring people you can trust. It’s not every day you find a friend that knows just when to call you because they sense when something is not quite right. You have always been there for me. Even though we are miles apart , when I talk with you on the phone, it always feel like you are so close. For anyone reading this comment, know this, my sister is so amazing, caring , kind, loving and real. I love her with every fiber of my being. Live posting here. So calming…

  4. Hey Andree’What you have said, your words are so very true and I must admit I am guilty of using word abbriviations in some of my post. I don’t post many things but after reading what you have written,. I’m going to be more concience of this. I do it even more when texting.I’m thankful though that you came to work at SCC, became my supervisor and then one of the best friends I have ever had. You always kept it real and still do. I truly wish you, I and Cathy could meet up. My time with the two of you was some of the best times ever.You keep on keeping real and making us think about the way we do things because you never know what tomorrow will bring
    Love You Sis♥️♥️

  5. I almost always do the birthday greetings on facebook. I agree that they don’t mean much in terms of effort/connection. Still I think they are a kindness, well for me anyway. That said, I have been thinking I’d like to be more connected. Maybe we could do lunch sometime? Maybe meet somewhere in the middle. I think geographically we are about 2 hours from each other. I do read your words. I shy away from religious posts because I am not religious. My religion is love. 🙂

    1. Let’s work on a meet-up, Dani — that sounds like fun. By the way, I too am not religious. We all have a belief in something, whether it’s got a faith base or not 😉 I hope you’ll read some of the writings you might think of as religious as I’m sure we have a lot in common there too!

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