Deblog 14: Happy Feelin\’s. No, Really.

I\’ve got myselfTo remind me of loveI\’ve got my mind and my heart, yeahAnd I believe, I believe, I believe in aboveAnd these happy feelin\’s, ooooh (Feel that happy feeling)I\’ll spread them all over the worldThese happy feelin\’s, yeah (Feel that happy feeling)I\’ll spread them all overd the worldThese happy, happy feelin\’s (Feel that happy feeling)I\’ll spread them all over the worldFeel I\’ve got to live, yeah, alright (Feel that happy feeling)

Don\’t recognize it? Here you go.https://youtu.be/KbpajI3ODzIFrankie Beverly and Maze are fantastic. But those lyrics are most appropriate this year.If you\’ve hung around for any period of time, you probably know that I\’ve had the bad country song of experiences. I don\’t need to list them all here, again, but suffice it to say I\’ve had my fair share of the so-called dirty end of the stick. That\’s if the stick is a very sharp and bloody harpoon.However, one of my dear sister-friends reminded me that I needed to reclaim my joy. I thought about what she said and realized she was spot on.Things have power when we let them have it.I thought back over those years and considered the things I\’d given power to.I had managed to convince myself that I was over certain things, like the experience with the first husband. He Crossed Over in 1999 and I had nightmares about him until about 2010. In that last dream, I fought back; I threw a punch in the dream that translated into the real world — I was fully awake when my fist hit the bed.I had managed to convince myself that being without a \’regular\’ full-time job was okay, despite having to fight every month to maintain. In so doing, I realized I was discounting the part-time work I have and love.  I was discounting my ability to create the life I desire on my own terms.I had grown weary of not being happy and as I heard my friends words, I realized I was happy. I mean, there are things I\’d love to do but in time, I am sure I will. In the meantime, I have had to harness my happy.I have to give power to joy, to satisfaction. To fuzzy blankets and good movies on Saturday nights. To cooking new and old dishes. To driving just because. For sunrises and sunsets. To dreams.I\’ve got to live, after all.We all do.